Jen's Space

Happy Halloween

Hope you all had a wonderful time.  Our Halloween was much like the effort it took to take this picture - story laden.  Will share all soon...

More of a Little White Lie

So today is my birthday, YAY!  Actually I'm putting up a brave front.  When I woke up this morning I realized that I am now closer to 40 than 30 and that kind of hurts just a little bit.  I have lots to share about my wonderful birthday but I'd like to spend some time with Jeremy this evening.

This leads me to share with you, dear internet, a little trick I played on my Emily this evening.  More of a confession because I feel kind of bad for what I did, but at the same time, I had my reasons (I want to spend some time alone with Jeremy!).  Emily has always been really good at going to bed and staying in bed (other than a rash of night wakings that lasted for a while a few months ago).  The past couple of nights we've tucked her in only to have her get up out of bed numerous times with silly excuses as to why she was up.  I know that she's just excited about her day and just needs to unwind a bit before she falls fast asleep.  Since I didn't want to do the bedtime tango with her tonight, I lied.  Her last complaint was that she was hot and her legs hurt still.  We had decided earlier in the evening that she is going through some growing pains because her legs have been hurting her throughout the afternoon.  So tonight when she came to me with this complaint I sent her back to bed and told her that I would get some vitamins that help with growing pains.  I went to the pantry and got a few of those confetti type sprinkles and took them to her room.  I told her that if I was going to administer these vitamins that she would have to promise not to get up and out of bed because growing pain vitamins will make her throw up instantly if you don't remain lying down after taking them.  I told her I didn't want to clean up vomit on my birthday and would she promise to stay in bed?  She agreed and is now fast asleep. 

And now I am off to spend time with my husband who, because he knows me so well, managed to give me one of the best birthdays ever.

The Round Up

A couple of weeks ago was Round Up week at Emily's school.  This was a western themed small carnival
that was one of fundraisers for the school year.  Emily has attended this school for the past 3 years but I've always avoided going to the Round Up with her.  Until recently, large crowds with a lot of activity were very overwhelming for Emily and she would get really distressed.  Unfortunately, when Emily gets distressed she starts to scream and act up.  I should say that all in the past tense because this has not happened in quite a while.  When it did happen the only way I can describe what Emily went through is much like witnessing a wild horse trying to be broken.  She would get a very frantic look in her eyes and would almost try to run away from where she was standing but at the same time she would be almost too scared to move at all.  You could always count on the screaming though.  Emily has always had a good set of lungs and she never seemed self conscious enough to keep herself from screaming.

Since Audrey is still going to bed around 6 p.m. and Molly is leaning towards the same schedule, Jeremy and I decided that Emily and I would have a Girl's Night Out and go to the Round Up together.  I must admit a few things at this point.  Having dealt with BZE (before Zoloft Emily) for the past 5 years, I was really starting to have my own anxieties about how the evening would go.  All morning while Emily was at school I thought maybe Emily would forget about Round Up and there would be enough events at school during the day for her to feel like she'd experienced it all.  This last ditch effort was dashed when Jeremy came home from picking up Emily.  They were walking in the door and I noticed that Jeremy was holding onto a stuffed bear.  It was Cheer Bear.  The classes mascot who goes home with a different student each weekend.  Jeremy had a grin on his face and told me that the teacher said that Cheer Bear loves to go to Round Up.  Crap.

I have to be honest and say that my first reaction was anger.  I was mad at the teacher for springing this on me knowing that I have two small kids at home to deal with in the evening.  I was mad at Jeremy for making light of the situation.  I was mad that not only was this the first time we were going to attempt Round Up.  I had to do it with a damn teddy bear.  How would Emily react?  How were we going to lug this bear around.  I know NOW that these were ridiculous thoughts but I've been dealing with some issues of my own and it really came out at that moment.

Over the past 5 years I have adopted a lot of Emily's sensitivities.  I notice things now that I never noticed before.  There were so many things that would affect Emily.  I would start to flinch right along with her, bracing myself for what her reactions would be.  Now that a lot of these issues are a thing of the past I need to learn to let go.  It's hard.

After having a good pout and venting with Jeremy about how I felt at the sight of Cheer Bear I took a shower and got ready for the evening.  I decided that Cheer Bear could be put in a stroller and we would have a good time. 

Here are some pictures before we left for the evening...

Can't forget our other Lil Cowpoke...

As it all turns out Emily and I had such a great time.  She went through a maze all by herself with older kids from the school messing around and jumping out at her and other little ones.  She met up with a few of her classmates who have become friends.  She got her hair spray painted and her cheek face painted.  Everything was so NORMAL.  It was a dream and I'm so glad I was able to share such a special day with my oldest daughter.  She's so special to me, I can't even put it into words.

Crashing

So I had all these plans to write about the past week (oh what a week!).  Then I decided to raid the Halloween Candy and eat one too many caramels.  I am extremely sensitive.  By the 5th caramel I was having a hard time sitting upright.  I've been laying down for a little over an hour and feeling slightly better.  I'll have to wait till tomorrow night to write any more than this.  I did want to thank all of you who have sent me those healthy vibes.  Molly is doing a lot better nowadays.  She's still got a cough and lost her voice this weekend but I think she'll be 100% in the next few days.

Sick

Send some healthy vibes my way please.  I was in the ER with Molly last night.  She has croup and was having a hard time breathing.  Off to my wild bunch...

Swing of Things

The reunion between Mary and Audrey was very amusing.  Mary had been here about 15 minutes before Audrey woke up.  When Audrey woke up I went to get her out of her crib.  She went staggering into the kitchen where Mary was and the two of them high fived each other.  It turns out that Mary had pneumonia and antibiotics cleared her up fairly quickly. 

Audrey has croup right now.  She woke up this morning very congested so I took her to the doctor this afternoon.  She was a mess.  Her molars are coming in, it was naptime, she now knows that the doctor's office is where she gets shots.  Sad.

I have to share a couple of wacky dreams I've had recently.  Maybe tomorrow.

Missing You...

Mary has been home sick for about a week now.  She'll be coming back tomorrow.  I *think* that Audrey has been missing her and has shown me in her own way.  Every time Audrey has eaten breakfast or lunch for the past few days she brings a baby doll with her and puts it in the booster next to hers (where Mary sits).  Audrey won't start eating her food until I have put a bib on the doll and served it a bowl, spoon and sippy cup.  I told Mary's mom about this tonight and she was really touched.  Emily has been praying for Mary every night.  She prays without being prompted when people are hurt or ill.  I like to see this compassion and empathy in her.

I need to get ready for another child in the house again.  I better get some good sleep tonight.  Tomorrow should keep me really busy. Audrey has speech therapy too.

More Girl Talk

A little more on Molly...

After I realized that Molly was a back sleeper I decided she needed some entertainment while laying there on her back and drifting off to sleep.  I got the Ocean Wonders crib toy.  They updated it and it's different than the one that Emily had so many years ago.  It has a remote, which is a great feature.  Molly really likes this toy. She usually drifts off to sleep while watching it, just like in the commercials, hahaha.

I've had a few questions about Molly's hair. Yes, it does have a red tint to it.  Jeremy had reddish hair as a kid and I had blonde so I'm not sure what to expect with Molly.  There is nothing that I can do to get that tuft of hair on top of her head to lay down.  I've tried bringing it down with a bow but it's still to short to get enough to lay the whole bunch down and it looks even worse than when I leave it alone.

Sometimes I can't wait for Molly to grow and be able to interact with her sisters more, other times I just want her to be the squishy little love bug that she is. 

On to Audrey...

My little AC.  AC is such a funny little bug.  She's very neat and tidy.  When she eats she likes to eat out of plates with the sections divided.  She has a bowl of oatmeal every morning and always puts her non utensil hand under her spoon so as not to drop any onto her high chair tray.   Emily is a bit of a litter bug and Audrey spends her days picking up after Emily.  She throws away wrappers and paper.  AC even throws away wet diapers that I've put down next to the changing table before I could get to them.  She LOVES tidying up and putting toys away.

Audrey is really polite.  Even though she doesn't really talk much she always says "thank you" (dadoo) whenever I give her something.  She's really good at sharing with Emily.  If I give Audrey a treat and say, "this is for your sister"  she goes right to Emily without even thinking of taking a taste for herself.   She DOES NOT like to share with Mary.  She doesn't like to share me nor her toys.  I'm hoping that soon she will be used to Mary and she is as nice to her as she is to her sisters.

My favorite thing about Audrey is that she comes to find Jeremy or I just to share a hug or wave hello.  I'll be busy in the kitchen or doing laundry and all of a sudden I feel these little arms wrapped around my leg.  She'll give me the biggest smile and then runs off to go play.  I love these moments.  She also makes her rounds and hugs everyone before every nap and bedtime.  I love watching Emily and Audrey hug.  Even though she fights with Mary a lot, she also initiates hugs with her too. 

I hate teething Audrey.  Her teeth give her so much discomfort.  We can have days of whining and complaining. She doesn't even know what would make herself happy.  It's just bad, bad, bad all around.  The only thing that makes Audrey happy when she's teething is getting out of the house and shopping.  It doesn't matter what we shop for, she just needs to be out and about.  She likes being outside in general and from the moment she wakes up she is asking to go "ahside?"  I have to be sure I'm showered and dressed or I'll be in my pj's pushing her in her swing.  She loves her swing. 

Audrey's speech therapy is going pretty well. She loves "playing" with Erica.  She's starting to pick up on some of the sign language that Erica is introducing.  I hate that Audrey has moments of frustration because I just don't know what she wants sometimes.

Tomorrow I'll write about Emily.  She has been keeping me on my toes.  She's already gotten in trouble at school TWICE.  This may sound odd but I'm glad to hear that she is testing limits instead of being frozen by the fear that her anxiety used to bring on.

Third Time's a Charm

My sweet Molly is sick right now.  So far she's congested and is having a hard time breathing.  It took her some time to fall asleep tonight because it was hard for her to breath and use her paci at the same time.  It was sad to watch her try to fall asleep.  I'm really scared that she might have what Mary has been home with for the past 3 days.  Mary's had a fever for the past 3 days.  Since it took a while for Molly to fall asleep I'm pretty tired myself.  I didn't want to go to bed without finally writing about my Mollyboo.

One of the first things I noticed about Molly when she was born was that her left ear was different than her right.  It has a little extra piece of cartilage or skin...

Molly is a really happy baby.  I think it's because of her patience.  She never cries for food or attention.  She seems to know that it all comes in time.  She is quick to giggle and has gummy grins for everyone.  Molly has started to try to say words lately.  Her babbling is much more deliberate.  When she is trying to say her version of words she has a deep raspy voice.  She sounds like a little bullfrog.  I find this very amusing because when she was in my tummy I always used to refer to her as my Molly Pollywog.

Sleep is interesting over here.  From the day we brought Molly home from the hospital I had been putting her to sleep on her tummy.  She slept really well and seemed happy on her tum.  A few weeks ago I would put Molly down to sleep and she would try as hard as she could to roll over on her back.  I propped a rolled up blanket to keep her from rolling.  I thought she was just trying out her newest trick.  Soon Molly would not fall asleep easily and would spend a lot of time trying to get on her back.  I finally decided to let her sleep on her back and she took a super long nap.  She was probably very relieved that she finally got her way.  I tried putting Molly to sleep on her tummy a few days ago because I hate her sleeping on her back.  She woke up a few times throughout the night.  I've decided to let her sleep on her back and she's been doing great. 

When Molly is awake she likes being on her tummy.  She cranes her neck up as high as she can to look around her surroundings.  She's starting to reach for things and manipulates her infant toys with her hands. She spends a lot of time in her bouncy seat hanging out and watching all they busy goings ons around here.  I can't wait for her to be old enough to play with Emily and Audrey.

I wish I could type more but I'm falling asleep.  I'll try to write more about Molly tomorrow...

Unplanned "Vacation"

Mary has been sick for the past three days.  She's had a fever that, so far, has lasted 3 days.  Since she's been ill her mom hasn't been dropping her off here to be watched.  It's funny, now that I only have my kids I feel like our day is so easy to get through.  Everyone is happy, no one is trying to claim me as there's and nobody is fighting over toys.  I'm hoping soon we get to this point when Mary is here.  I know it will happen, just not sure when.  I hope my girls don't come down with whatever illness she has.  They already got nasty head colds that she shared the first week I watched her. 

Anyhow, with Emily at school and Molly taking naps throughout the day, Audrey and I have had a lot of one on one time.  It's been nice.  She's very loving and sweet.  We went on errands a few times and she loved that.

Emily and Audrey have become very close in the past few weeks.  They like playing with each other and share really well now.  When Audrey goes to take a nap or go to bed for the night she runs to Emily for a hug. 

I'm hoping to write about Molly really soon.  She's starting to interact with everyone a lot lately.  Emily likes to talk and sing to her.  Molly giggles with Emily all the time.  Audrey still seems unsure as to what to make of Molly.