Jen's Space

I'm OLD

Tomorrow (Wednesday, the 29th) is my birthday.  I feel SO OLD.  Actually, I don't feel that old.  Just saying that I'm 37 makes me feel old.  When I started working as a secretary at a private school I was 25 years old.  I became good friends with one of the women who worked in the office.  She was 37.  I remember thinking that she was so much older than me, haha.  I need to get in touch with her and see how she's doing nowadays.

I'm not sure how I'll be celebrating my birthday tomorrow.  I don't really care about celebrating but I like to do something fun for the kids.  They get so excited about birthdays.  I did tell Jeremy that I'd love a big honking piece of pumpkin cheesecake.  Yeah, just what I need, all those calories.  I think it's OK to indulge myself, right?

I had a picture to share from my 1st birthday but I seemed to have misplaced it.  I'll share if I ever find it...

Edited to Add...

I couldn't find my one year picture but here is a picture of me when I was around Audrey's age...

Chatter

I really need to be working right now but I had to remember some things first.   

First, the biggest FIRST, AUDREY IS TALKING.  Like, gabbing away.  Like, saying things just for the heck of it.  I am very excited about this turn of events.  Audrey has always been so quiet.  Painfully quiet.  When she was a baby I would run errands with her in the car and there were times I had to look back in her carseat to make sure I didn't forget her.  No babbling, no giggles, just those big brown eyes looking back at me.  In the past week Audrey has started to babble to herself about silly things.  She has been starting up conversations with Jeremy and I.  Asking questions!!!  The questions were a huge milestone.  The more she talks and knows that we understand her, the more she says.  So very fun.  I'm seeing my happy girl again.  She left me for a while and now she's back.  Her eyes light up like they haven't in a long time.  

A quick story before I go...

This evening I took the girls with me to the craft store.  Now they have haunted villages as decorations, kind of like Christmas villages but with haunted houses and such.  When we were at the checkout I was hearing a bunch of screaming and moaning from the display.  Emily was looking at me like, "What the heck is that noise?"  I turned to her and told her that the store takes kids that don't listen to their parents to the backroom and beat them.  Emily thought that was the funniest thing she ever heard, so did the older lady in front of me.  The 20 something girl at the cashier, not so much.  She gave me the dirtiest look.  Oh well, can't win them all I guess.  

Coooookieeeeeee

I've been kind of busy lately doing, stuff.  Imagine my surprise when I found out today that Mother's Cookie Company is going out of business.  This was a news report a few weeks ago.  Why hasn't anybody told me?  As soon as I found out I rounded up my girls by running around the house shouting , "Anybody who wants to come and buy lots and lots of cookies, follow me out to the van!!"  Within 5 minutes there were three little girls following me out the back gate towards the garage.  

We had to go to a couple of different stores but were were able to round up everyone's favorite cookie.  Jeremy requested iced oatmeal.  Emily wanted Cookie Parade.  Audrey thought the Taffy cookies looked pretty good.  I had to stick with the hardest to find, Circus Animals!!  Molly just pointed and giggled and hugged a bag or two in the shopping cart.  

I can't believe that my girls won't have Cookie Parade at their school parties.  Nor will there be any Cirus Animals in their lunches.  So sad.

On a happier note.  My dad is in stable condition in a hospital in PA.  He's had surgery and is waiting to be released by the end of the week.  I miss him and my mom.

Give Me Some Happy

I found myself gravitating to The Happy Blog this evening because I'm in need of some Happy.  My brother called me earlier this evening to let me know that my parents are coming home early from their vacation.  They left Friday night to visit my dad's family in PA.  They were supposed to be gone a week, but my dad is having the same symptoms he had when he ended up in the hospital and found out he has cirrhosis.  My parents will be returning home tomorrow evening.  

I hate worrying about my parents.  I especially hate worrying about my dad.  I couldn't imagine life without him.  Moments like these make me have to face the fact that he won't be in my life forever.  It's hard to think about that kind of stuff.

UPDATE

My mom called me this morning.  Instead of preparing to head home today she took my dad to a hospital in PA.  He was showing signs of bleeding internally again and she was afraid to travel with him.  He will be undergoing the same procedure he went through the last time he bled internally.  Right now, it looks like they will be in PA for the rest of the week.  My dad really wants to be home right now, as does my mom.  I wish I could be with them.

Snip Snip

I forgot to write about Audrey's haircut yesterday.  I had a very terrible headache all day yesterday.  Maybe that is why I forgot?  Not too terrible to cut some hair though.  Audrey's hair has been really, how should I put this, UGLY.  It's been limp and sad.  Some days she looked like she was losing her hair.  Which is partly true because she pulls her hair out at night.  A lot.  Then there are days that Molly thinks it's lots of fun to pull chunks of Audrey's hair out.  Audrey doesn't even fuss when it happens so sometimes I don't even know it's happened until I see Molly walking around with a glob of Audrey's hair in her chunky little hands.  

My head had me in a foul mood for most of the day and every time I looked at Audrey's hair I kept thinking I should do something about it.  So, I did.

I Told You So

I have been in contact with so many nice people lately.  I'm spoiled.  A reader of my blog (Hi Carla!) recently emailed me.  She had come across a bunch of vintage knitting books and wanted to know if I would like some.  I love pretty much anything from the 40's, 50's and 60's.  I just got the books in the mail and I feel like Christmas has come early.  They are sooo cool.  I can't wait for some free time to tackle one of these patterns!  Thank you so very much Carla.

Memories

Did I ever write about the weekend that Emily and Audrey watched the movie Radio Flyer?  I think it came on a few times throughout the weekend and the girls were very intrigued.  Sunday night came around and they were acting up, fussy, being very naughty in general.  Jeremy and I both lost our tempers and sent them abruptly to their rooms for the night.  No book reading, no goodnight song, just a quick "Go to SLEEP!" and out the room we went.  I spent the next hour listening to the monitor in their room.  Emily plotted a very intricate plan of running away from home while Audrey responded with an occasional "Uh Huh".  It was one of the most sad and amusing moments I've had as a parent.

She's Lost Control Again...

I've fallen behind, again.  I have a really good reason though.  I'm super, super, super busy with my Online Store.  There are a few items that have become really popular and I've had a lot of custom orders to fill.  I began my shop basically to pay for my crocheting and knitting habit.  I just wanted a way to make money to pay for more yarn.  I have to say that my shop has paid me back so much more than that.  I've gotten to meet some really nice people.  I never expected that.  

I had some really bad experiences in the past when dealing with the public.  I used to work at a very popular amusement park in Anaheim.  What surprised me about that experience was that not all people are happy when they visit what is supposed to be the Happiest Place on Earth.  So unhappy, that I almost got punched in the face for asking for a ticket at a re-entry gate.  I am not kidding.  So when I decided to open my online shop and work with people I don't know I was a little scared.  Turns out, people are really nice and that  makes me happy.

Much Better

So after my head exploded the other night I decided to calm down and breathe.  I did a lot of thinking and praying about Audrey's speech.  I was hoping for peace and the ability not to worry.  To know that everything is going to be OK.  The next day I still had a hard time understanding a lot of what Audrey has been trying to tell me, but I'm being patient and trying to help her communicate with me.  I realize why everything seems so maginified lately.  Audrey is talking.  Before, she didn't even attempt to communicate with me.  It just wasn't in her nature to chat or make conversation.  Now she is starting to say more and it brings on more moments where I don't understand what she is saying.  Soooo, even though I'm concerned about Audrey's articulation, the fact that she is saying more is a step in the right direction.

Now, I just need to make Emily behave in class.  I also need to remember to bite my tongue and NOT laugh when she tells me she got in trouble because she "shook her booty" in front of the overhead projector.  To think, there was a time that I worried about my little girl sitting in the corner too afraid to speak.  

Speech

I know I already wrote tonight but I need to get something out of my head before it explodes.  I know in a few months this will not be as much of an issue as it is now.  I just need to document my frustration.  Today Audrey's speech therapist showed up for our usual session.  She told me that the regional center has decided that Audrey no longer qualifies for therapy from our therapist because she needs articulation therapy.  Articulation therapy is not paid for by the regional center.  Audrey will qualify (most likely) to receive therapy with the school district in January.  The school district does focus on articulation therapy.  The speech therapist's contract will end at the end of October.  She is trying to appeal to give Audrey therapy until January so that there is no gap in therapy for Audrey.  I love that she is trying to hard to get Audrey help and that she is so thorough.

I'm thrilled with all the people who have been trying to help my little girl.  I hate that I can't understand her.  I hate it.  I thought that dealing with Emily's gross motor skill delays were bad.  They were.  There were a lot of frustrating moments but I always knew, for the most part, what she needed from me.  Today it took me 15 minutes to figure out that Audrey was trying to say "computer".  She kept say, "peh"  over and over  "peh Peh PEH!!!!"  The more she realized I had no idea what she was saying the worse it got.  She's starting to lose her confidence in me.  I can see it in her eyes.  I used to be able to translate for her because her world was much smaller.  Now she is seeing more and more around her and I can't keep up with her versions of words to fit into it.  

I'm sad for her.  I'm sad for me.  I'm just, sad.