Jen's Space

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!
Originally uploaded by JenferCA

Here's to a wonderful 2009!!

Dear Audrey

Well, Bobolah, you turn 3 tomorrow.  I thought now would be a good time to remind you how much you mean to daddy and me.  Your third birthday seems like a long time coming.  I think that is appropriate, as your birth took a while to happen also.  In fact, I documented a lot of our struggles to finally meet you on a whole other blog.

You know, the most amazing thing happened once you were placed in my arms.  All my sadness and longing for a baby were gone the second I looked into your big brown eyes.  POOF!

My first thought upon seeing you was that you were too beautiful to be mine.  Really!  In fact, everyone that saw you at the hospital thought you were something too.  I had a feeling that this was the beginning of your relationship with the world.  I think I might have been right.  When you are comfortable and happy with your surroundings, you touch others around you with a quiet grace.  This pleases me so.  Your great grandmother, whom you never met, had the same effect on others during her time on earth.

Of course, like most kids your age, you've perfected The Tantrum.  Sometimes, your outbursts are crazy making because you are too upset to tell me what is bothering you.  Other times your emotions are short lived and we both end up in a fit of giggles over how silly a situation we find ourselves in.  Which leads me to one of your best qualities - your sense of humor.

You have a great sense of humor and spend a lot of your days finding laughter in everything.  You have a great belly laugh.  Funny though, only a few people have witnessed this side of you.  You need to be completely comfortable to share, but it's worth the wait.

You keep your circle of friends tight.  Waiting patiently to get to know others before opening arms to them freely.  Different from your sisters, you crave solitude.

Taking extra time to lay in your crib alone every morning before deciding to join the rest of us.  We recently attended a larg birthday party.  You strayed away from all of us and stood in the middle of the large venue we were at to dance and spin to the music that was being played at the party.  Happy, content and in the moment.  I think that moment will be something I remember when you are grown and not my little girl any longer.

It's hard for me to imagine you grown and gone.  Living a life away from me.  I'm happy in the knowledge that that time is still a long time coming.  

For now, I'll treasure your sidelong glances that come with your impish grins.  Your love of your sisters.

Your neat and tidy ways.

Your light stroking of my arms when I hold you close.  Your happy skip when times are good and your downturned mouth when times are bad.  I'll remember all these things that make you my little girl and I'll smile through happy tears.

Work

If you're ever wondering what I'm working on when I say I'm busy with work here is an example of one of my projects I recently completed...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/cbyc/3140987719/

Now I'm working on a birthday post for Audrey...

Flipper

Flipper
Originally uploaded by JenferCA

Do you see the dolphin? My clouds are gone. Chilly, dry weather remains. Hoping to see Flipper again soon. I love my cloudy, blustery days....

Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas Eve

Hope you are all having a wonderful Christmas Eve.  I hope all your Christmas wishes come true.

Told Ya So

See, I committed myself to daily blogging and then I POOPED OUT.  I have sort of good reasons.  I'm trying to get ready for Christmas and then Audrey's BIRTHDAY.  I can't believe my baby will be three years old on December 30th.  I've been going through all sorts of pictures and video.  Remembering Audrey as a baby.  It brings tears to my eyes, but gives me so much joy.

Yesterday I had planned a Cookie Making Day at my mom's with Brenda and Bug.  It turned out to be quite a disaster.  At least for me it felt like a disaster.  Bug was an angel, ready for cookie making action.  Audrey was a mess.  She cried pretty much the entire time.  Molly spent most of her time trying to climb out of any highchair I put her in.  When she wasn't trying to climb out of her highchair, she was screaming bloody murder that she couldn't snap the highchair strap on her own.  Emily kept her cool for the most part but had her own outbursts in order to be heard over her sisters' noise.  *SIGH*  I had charged my camera battery that morning in hopes of getting some pretty cookie pictures.  That was just not going to happen.  I hope we didn't scare our guests away forever.

I think that Audrey was just having a crummy day.  I ended up taking her and Molly home, leaving Emily to have fun with Grandma.  Audrey ended up sleeping from 3 p.m. to 7:00 p.m.  She woke up just long enough to eat a snack and then went back to sleep for the night.  She seems perfectly fine and happy today.  I did ask her about why she was so upset yesterday.  The best that I can understand from what she told me is that Bug is her friend and she was mad that Emily was taking Bug away from her to play, hahahaha.  Good grief! 

Tomorrow I am planning on taking lots and lots of pictures.  It's our annual Tamale Making Day at my parents.  I can't wait to taste my first fresh tamale with a yummy margarita made by Jeremy....

Dear Pen Pals

To anyone who is interested in the Pen Pal Project...

I was thinking about the merge of internet friendship to a snail mail friendship.  I know that when I talk to friends who have online journals we spend a lot of time saying, "Did you read about...?"  I was thinking of beginning our pen pal correspondence as a fresh introduction.  I know it will be kind of corny in the beginning because we do know each other, but I think if we do this we might find out we share information that we normally wouldn't, or assume that someone else knows.

Does this make sense?

Share input please :)

I'm planning on beginning my letters in January because this holiday season is keeping me BUSY.

Clash

A large amount of orders from my Etsy shop is clashing with all the things I want to be doing right now.  I'd love to write more but I have deadlines to keep.  In the meantime, I'll share with you a picture I took of Emily this morning.  Excuse the poor quality, she was in a rush to get to school and enjoy her last day before Christmas break.  I made her hat and scarf last night.  Today was "hat and scarf day" at school.  I guess only in California would winter wear be considered a costume.

Reconnect

I've had some things on my mind lately.  I've been reading a book called Honeymoon with My Brother.  It's a story of a guy who was left standing at the altar.  He decided to ask his brother to come with him on his honeymoon since the tickets were already paid for.  The two brothers had grown apart before this event. Their travels together, on an extension of the "honeymoon", allowed them to get to know each other once again.  

There have been other moments in the past few weeks that have reminded me how important my connections with other people can be.  I've decided that 2009 is the year for me to reconnect.  To reach out to peope in my life that I have allowed to become distant.  The first person who came to mind on this quest is my brother.  

My brother is 2 years older than I.  We were the best of friends growing up.  I was so close with my brother.  There was a distance that began in our teenage years, we never bridged the gap.  Instead we went about our own lives and occassionally shared a funny story from our childhood during visits at my parents' house.  I was recently talking with a friend and when I talked about my brother I mentioned that I wasn't very close with him anymore, but I know he would do anything for me if I needed him to do so.

Why am I happy to settle for such a one dimensional relationship?  I'm not any longer and I look forward to getting to know "brudder" again.