My Big Toe on my left foot has been angry for a while. It's been prone to ingrown nails that I have had to clip and work with. A few weeks ago I was doing my usual treatment of clipping out hangnails when it showed signs of being infected. I won't go into details. I started to freak out, cried, and then went to bed. I don't know what is wrong with me lately but whenever a simple medical problem happens to me like a messed up toenail or a sprain in my knee, I automatically think it's something horrible like cancer and I'm going to die. My mom says it's because of my age and my fear of dying. I think it's more about the fact that I have no health insurance and I'm afraid of not being able to pay for necessary treatments to keep me alive, or at least to keep out of severe pain.
For about 2 weeks I tried to treat my toe with lots of bandages, antibiotic ointment and soaking at night. My nail continued to look worse as the days passed. After 2 crying jags over my nail Jeremy finally convinced me to make an appointment to have a doctor see my foot. I was avoiding this step because I have an unusual fear of my nails being messed with. Especially my toenails. The pain finally got bad enough that I was willing to have a doctor chop the damn toe off. Funny, as soon as I made the appointment I instantly felt better. I guess there is a lot to be said for being proactive.
The doctor told me that I had to have my nail removed and then he would reconstruct the "matrix" (where the nail generates itself) in a way so as not to have any future ingrown nails. The procedure, for me, was difficult. Jeremy came with me. I instructed him beforehand that he couldn't make any noises AT ALL. I wanted to be completely in the dark as to what was happening. He did great. I was a mess. The doctor did a great job of numbing my toe and he was really efficient. I just had a hard time with knowing what was happening and feeling the sensation of being tugged and prodded. I almost fainted, but I survived!
It's been a week but my toe is still really tender and I don't keep it unwrapped for any length of time. The Toe has taken on a personality of it's own. It's even on Twitter! I think we'll start getting along better sometime next week.
In other news, Emily and I got together with friends from school yesterday and I was glad to get in touch with a lot of the moms. I had some really interesting conversations that I'll have to share soon.