Sweet Little Lies

I lie to my kids, all the time.  I must come from a long line of kid liars because I have stories of all the lies my mom and dad would tell me.  We talk about these lies and LAUGH, LAUGH, LAUGH.  We laugh because these are lies that, as a grown up, would make you grin.  Like, when I was a kid and we got fireworks I couldn't stop touching them.  My dad told me that if you shake fireworks too much, they will become duds and not work.  So I never touched them again.  I was so afraid of having a duddy 4th of July.  Before dinner time, if I was hungry and begged for a banana sitting on the counter, my mom would tell me that the banana wouldn't fit in my tummy because it was too big.  She would hold it up to my tummy and show me how much bigger that banana was with a sad face.  I would "aw shucks" and run off to play. 

One of my favorite lies was not even told to me or my brother.  We were on a fishing trip and had caught a lot of fish.  My dad and I were outside cleaning the fish when this kid came walking up asking all sorts of questions.  I think my dad was getting tired of all the yapping.  The kid asked my dad what kind of bait we used to catch all those fish and my dad answered, "Dry leaves, and let me tell you, it sure was hard keeping those leaves dry under the water."  The kid ran off shouting to his dad, "Dad!!!  They caught all those fish with DRY LEAVES!!"  The kid's dad gave us the Stink Eye and took his kid back into the cabin.  My dad and I couldn't stop laughing.  I think I was 7.

So, here I am with my own kids lying like a rug.  I'll tell one of the girls to stop touching something because it will "blow up in your face".  Or the other day I told Molly that if she didn't let me change her diaper her but would fall off and that HURTS!  Emily's fish died the other day.  Jeremy ran to the pet store to get replacements but they looked a little different than the originals.  We suspected the fish died from Emily over feeding them so when she returned home from school we told her that when you overfeed your fish they change how they look.  We also told her that if it happens a second time they could get really sick so STOP OVERFEEDING THE FISH.  Emily still believes that if she lies to me (how ironic, ha!) that her tongue will turn black.  I tell the kids that they will get sucked down the drain if they don't get out of the tub before the water drains out (they only half believe that one).  When Emily refused to poop in the toilet I told her that it would start to build up and come out of her mouth instead.  If the kids are whining too much I tell them the whine monster will show up and growl at them.  I make up stories all the time to get through the day without having to argue rational points to little children.

I don't know if this would be frowned upon by others.  Maybe, maybe not.  I just know it works for me and hopefully, when the girls grow up we can LAUGH, LAUGH, LAUGH about all the lies I told them.

Comments

[Becca]

I think everyone has little lies they tell their kids - and then those kids grow up and tell the same lies to their kids. Think of all the drawn out irrational arguments you would have to deal with otherwise.

I love the dry leaves one, that is HILARIOUS! The dad gave us the stink eye - hehehehe I think it would fall more into the 'learning to be a smart ass' category for me. And oh are my kids becoming smart asses...

The getting sucked down the tub drain one - Carus used to insist on getting out of the tub before pulling the drain so she wouldn't get sucked down. And then she discovered showers and now will spend 30 minutes in there before the threats of us dumping ice cold water on her will get her out...the teenage years are going to be fun!

[cc]

We used the drain one to get my brother out of the tub when he was little.

Shawn's favorite is the dry leaves, because a fisherman never reveals his secret.

We all lie to our kids somehow some way. Think about it, Easter, Christmas, Tooth Fairy, that we'll cancel our trip to wherever if they don't straighten up.

Becca - we routinely flush the toilet on Rapunzel. A 11 1/2 year old does not need to take a 45 minute shower.

[Ninotchka]

:)

[K]

Okay, feel free to delete as this is a bit racy. When I was seven, a little boy at school (also only seven) asked me to give him a certain... something. You look back and wonder what on earth he was being exposed to in his life. Anyway, I went home and asked my mum what this was, and she told me it was something you got at the hairdresser, and not to think about it.

[SAJ]

hahahahhhahah! K's mom is sharp!

[Elizabeth]

Every 'lie' my hubby tells ends with bloodshed. Stop doing that or your hands/legs/head/tongue/fingers/fill-in-the-blank will fall off and you'll bleed all over. Seriously, even the kids will ask where the blood is when he randomly doesn't throw it in there. I avoid lies...I never answer Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy questions directly b/c I won't have it come back to bite me. I don't tell them one way or the other and usually send them to ask their father, b/c "daddy knows more details than I do." LOL

Oh, wait, I'm supposed to be giving you a stink eye for lying to your kids. Commencing with ~*~stink eye*~* Do you feel adequately chastised or shall I keep it up? Ok, but I only have 2 more minutes to do this and I need to go....*eyebrow up*
Ok, I gotta do some laundry, you'll have to chastise yourself now. *HUGS*

[Term papers]

You don't know if this would be frowned upon by others. Maybe not. you just know it works for you and hopefully, when the girls grow up you can LAUGH, about all the lies you told them.

[bethany actually]

I just re-read this post and you know what's funny? To me, it's exhausting to make up stories! I would a thousand times rather explain logic to little kids all day long than have to make up fairy stories about dry leaves for bait and tongues turning black. :-) So of course I get a kid who loves loves loves it when I make up silly stories and games for her. She appreciates the logic too, because she is Troy's and my kid, after all, but when I tell silly stories instead of logicking her she laughs and laughs.

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